A Bad Day With an Upside
For a while now I have been having a feeling of being unsettled. Like I was waiting for something but I did not know what I was waiting for. Part of it is obvious. I’m waiting to be completely healed. That will be a very long time, which I am very aware of, so I did not think that was the only thing making me feel so unsettled.
Today, I think I know what I was waiting for. I am having my first really bad day. Since I have had the treatment, the biggest problem I have had has been a minor amount of pain and a slightly more than normal amount of fatigue. I have felt so blessed; I was scared of what might happen when I had a ‘bad day.’ Now I know.
A bad day is about half of what I was feeling before the treatment. I feel a fair amount of pain, but it is bearable and can be treated with painkillers. I also am very fatigued and my arms and legs weigh 100 lbs. each, but I am spending the day in my bathrobe at my parent’s house so I don’t have to worry about doing anything.
The bad news is I’m having a bad day, but the good news is I can handle it. And I am not scared; I know I will feel better tomorrow. That is an amazing gift, knowing I will get better. I think that is part of what was making it so hard before I got treatment. I did not know if there would ever be an end to the pain. But today, I know it is just for today, or possible two or three days, but I know it will end.