A New Way to Choose

I have been feeling sorry for myself the last two or three days because I am experiencing something my doctor thinks is a Pseudo relapse brought on by stress.  This means that my body is presenting all of past symptoms: pain, lack of coordination, my fingers not doing what I’m telling them to, and many others coupled with severe fatigue.  I feel as though I am having a relapse, but I’m not and it should go away in a couple of days after I rest.  Keep in mind this is what she thinks, we don’t know this for sure.

My husband has graciously taken the two older kids away for a while and my youngest is napping.  In the spirit of allowing myself rest, I decide to sit in the hot tub my husband bought me to decrease the burning pain sensation I feel on my skin almost daily.  As I sit there reading my book and drinking a cider my husband bought for me last night, I feel content.  I look around at the beautifully landscaped yard my husband has spent years developing, and I realize I am truly blessed.

I have been working on a comparison list of choices to boost my mood for the last couple days, but I got stuck.  I started out strong; I choose a job with heavy office politics because I get great hours and an understanding of my disease by my boss; I choose to not worry about the unknown of my future with the disease I have because I have a husband I know will take care of me if something bad happens.  I choose to have three kids to take care of even when I’m over fatigued because they are the most precious things in the world to me.

I got stuck when I had to start the sentence with: I choose a life with MS because . . . .

There was no because.  I would never choose to have MS. It is a horrible cruel disease that shows no mercy.  It wants my hands, it wants my feet, it wants my energy and it wants my cognitive abilities.

But as I was sitting in the hot tub today, feeling truly blessed with everything I have in this world, I realized that I choose a life with MS because I would not give up the life I have for anything.  I would rather have this life with MS than to not have this life at all.  I choose a life with MS because I can fight it.  I choose a life with MS because it forces me to find ways to motivate myself, always, and maybe I can help someone else with the things I come up with.

If you want to find out more about how to choose your way to happiness, check out www.onemorestepconsulting.com.

Posted in: Happiness, Health, health and wellness, Medicine, Multiple Sclerosis, Relaxation