I am a type A person that also suffers from OCD, depression, anxiety, and a weird need (as if it’s possible) to be perfect. Some of this is genetics, and a lot of it is just symptomatic of having MS.
I feel that having these traits helped me a lot in my 20’s, because I was able to accomplish everything I wanted, travel the world, and be successful at whatever whimsy I had going on at the time. I felt unstoppable; the world was my oyster! I was able to experience more in my 20’s than most people during a lifetime.
In my mid-thirties, it is a bit more of a problem. MS hit me at 24; that was the first time I had true depression. After I went through a round of odd central nervous system problems I finally got diagnosed a year later. I was lucky enough to have a wonderful support system, and my family helped me get through it. I was able to go on with my life and continue to move at 100 miles per hour, and be good at everything.
Now, after having MS for 10+years, I am experiencing more mental problems and fatigue than ever. The depression and anxiety are the worst of it. I have to keep working out, but I do it in the morning now, 4 or 5am depending on the day.
But what I absolutely have to give up is this desire to be seen as perfect. It is making me crazy, because I am unable to be perfect at everything. Duh! I have 3 small kids, a full time job, and I work out for an hour every day. I have to let some things go. Someone suggested that I go for half-assed. That did not sit well with me, although I love the concept, I cannot mentally take on the description of half-assed attempts at things. I found what I can do to help myself out in this department is go for “good enough.
I will keep up with the chores so that things around the house are good enough, not perfect. I will never be the perfect anything, but I can be good enough.
I invite everyone who can relate to the overwhelming feelings of not being able to keep up to try on the “good enough” jacket, as well. I am finding it truly helpful. And I think it looks awesome on me! 🙂