Good Enough

I am a type A person that also suffers from OCD, depression, anxiety, and a weird need (as if it’s possible) to be perfect.  Some of this is genetics, and a lot of it is just symptomatic of having MS.

I feel that having these traits helped me a lot in my 20’s, because I was able to accomplish everything I wanted, travel the world, and be successful at whatever whimsy I had going on at the time.  I felt unstoppable; the world was my oyster!  I was able to experience more in my 20’s than most people during a lifetime.

In my mid-thirties, it is a bit more of a problem.  MS hit me at 24; that was the first time I had true depression.  After I went through a round of odd central nervous system problems I finally got diagnosed a year later.  I was lucky enough to have a wonderful support system, and my family helped me get through it.  I was able to go on with my life and continue to move at 100 miles per hour, and be good at everything.

Now, after having MS for 10+years, I am experiencing more mental problems and fatigue than ever.  The depression and anxiety are the worst of it.  I have to keep working out, but I do it in the morning now, 4 or 5am depending on the day.

But what I absolutely have to give up is this desire to be seen as perfect.  It is making me crazy, because I am unable to be perfect at everything.  Duh!  I have 3 small kids, a full time job, and I work out for an hour every day.  I have to let some things go.  Someone suggested that I go for half-assed.  That did not sit well with me, although I love the concept, I cannot mentally take on the description of half-assed attempts at things.  I found what I can do to help myself out in this department is go for “good enough.

I will keep up with the chores so that things around the house are good enough, not perfect.  I will never be the perfect anything, but I can be good enough.

I invite everyone who can relate to the overwhelming feelings of not being able to keep up to try on the “good enough” jacket, as well.  I am finding it truly helpful.  And I think it looks awesome on me!  🙂

Posted in: Happiness, Health, Multiple Sclerosis, Relaxation