Let it be.
Something amazing happened to at the beginning of this week and I feel like a transformed person. I experienced a moment of tremendous relief. I have only experienced relief in this sort of magnitude once before in my life. That was when the excruciating MS pain I had been feeling for over a year finally disappeared. But this was not a physical relief, but an emotional and mental solace. For the first time in my life, I finally figured out how to truly be happy. I know, it’s shocking that it took me 40 years to do this, but it did.
During all the difficult times of my life (the things MS has gifted me with being some of the most difficult), I have sought to learn all the truths in life that you need know and accept to be happy. I’ve blogged about them all. I’ve coached others on how to find happiness.
However, I was using these truths separately rather than all together. It wasn’t until this past Sunday when the pastor at church explained it in a way that it finally clicked for me.
I had an epiphany when it finally sunk in the next day. It was if someone had lifted an invisibility cloak (excuse the Harry Potter reference) off the unhealthy behaviors I had been using my entire life. I had known my actions were not producing the happiness I wanted, but I was completely blind to what wasn’t working . . . until now. I was almost embarrassed, but I couldn’t see what needed to change until I completely relinquished any idea that I had control over anything in life except my own emotions.
I have always known these nine secrets of happiness:
- You cannot control everything.
- Every emotion you have is a choice.
- Reacting to something never helps.
- You cannotchange anyone
- You cannot knowyour future.
- You must choose to take care of yourself first.
- Every person is a whole and competent person, and they are all doing their best.
- Live in the moment.
- Meditate every day.
I learned all these years ago, but now I can finally apply them and use them correctly with one last step: fully understanding that the only thing you can control is your happiness and attitude about life and giving up on trying to control anything else.
I was going to explain what I was doing wrong, but then I realized that was me and it would not help you. Only you can figure out if you are doing any of them incompletely to make them all work together. (I have done previous blogs on everything I listed above separately over the years and if you want to hear more about my experience with them send me a message so I can tell you more about it.)
However, I decided today I want to impart a new secret to you. I started practicing this one a while ago, but just like all the other ones, because I wasn’t using them together in every situation, happiness would easily and quickly slip away.
Here is the 10th secret: Always say yes. When someone asks you to do something, it is an opportunity. An opportunity to have fun, to help someone who needs it, or whatever else life has in store for you. I have learned to only say no if I don’t have the resources (money, energy, or time) in the moment it is offered to me.
Goodbye for now. Someone is calling, and I’m going to say yes. I hope you do the same when you get an offered an opportunity.