Perspective is Everything
Last night, my mother told me she was proud of me. She said she knows how hard it was for me to make the decisions I have in order to conserve some of my energy each day. I have made the choice, and I emphasize the word, choice, to start using a handicapped sticker on my car and I have chosen to start using a walker at work and while going places.
I do not need a walker, nor do I need a handicapped-parking pass. But what they allow me to do is continue working and being a Mom. The walker is the difference between me being helped out of the office by two people on each side at 3, if I make it that long. The walker allows me to go places, like the grocery store, that I would not go to before because I didn’t have the energy to do anything. Plus, it’s an awesome footrest! 🙂
The walker is also a lot less embarrassing that feeling like a Ping-Pong bouncing from desk to desk. What it gives me is the extra energy to make it through the day. It also gives me the courage to stand up and walk across the room to exchange paperwork when I’m not sure I have the strength or balance to walk without a hand on something. I could be embarrassed by it, but I am not, because I’m making the choice that living a full life is more important than pride.
I also gave up wearing makeup and showering in the morning. No, I do not stink! I just shower the night before and wash my face in the morning and put my hair back in a clip. Do I look as good as I used to? Well, that one’s debatable. The point is, I do not have the strength in my arms to do all that, and help get my kids ready for school and then go to work. I decided my kids were more important than my looks.
Small changes, can feel big before you make them, but they can preserve so much of your lifestyle once you make them! And this is all temporary. I’m planning on a stem-cell transplant this year for a cure! Plus, I totally binged out my walker, so that improves my cool factor by at least as much as quitting makeup took away, right?