I have been super fortunate in the last week. 11 months post transplant and I’m finally feeling good. I felt good when I first left the hospital, great even. I wanted to walk a lot and just enjoy feeling good. Then as time went by, and I got off the steroids and other meds that were keeping me going, I felt worse, for the next six months or so. I was constantly sick, or just very tired having to pay for enjoying a good day. Now I can enjoy a whole week! Knock on wood!!
My mother told me about an article she read about over the counter sleeping pills. She said the article stated that those types do not allow you to reach REM sleep, or deep sleep. I have been taking a sleeping pill every night since I left the hospital, just being scared that I couldn’t sleep. After hearing this, I couldn’t remember the last time I had a dream. I think it was in the hospital, actually. So I decided to stop taking them.
That night and every night since, I have had dreams. And even though I stay up until 2 am, or even 4 one night, I wake up feeling much more rested. I am finally feeling like I am getting to the recovered stage, not just in recovery, which is not fun.
I can enjoy doing activities with my family again. I can do things two or three times in a row and not be knocked down for a few days. I feel alive! I love that feeling of just feeling good. It is really hard to explain this to those of you who have not gone through a horribly painful and sick experience, but it is remarkable the kind of enjoyment you can get out of simply feeling normal. And I have gotten there again! Lets hope it lasts longer this time!!
I even went for a run outside today, and every step did not hurt. It actually even felt good for the first half-mile! And I kept going for another two just remembering how good it felt when running finally feels good again, and I want to get that back! I am so proud of myself. And I want everyone to know: I am happy! Today is a good day!